8 Reasons People Don’t Change Their Story

 Reason #2:  Fear

Fear of Failure, and Fear of Success

What are we so afraid of? We’re afraid to fail because we may look like a stupid, naïve dreamer, and we’re afraid to succeed because we’re so unfamiliar with it.

Let’s talk about Fear of Failure first. I believe that the root of fear of failure is Pride. Failing would threaten the public, and private perception of who we are, the way other people see us, and the way we view ourselves. Failure would blow our cover and reveal our gaping vulnerabilities that no one ever knew we had. Fear also tells us that we’ll fail Big!…not just a little misstep, but massive public humiliation – so let’s just play it safe.

Fear of Failure often keeps us from even taking that first step because we’re afraid our Dream will go public. Yes, other people will now find out that we have a Big Hairy Dream!. Let’s face it, it’s uncomfortable to let people know that we’re breaking out of the status quo…they can stay behind if they want to, but we’re moving forward. We don’t want people to think we’re being ridiculous with our Big Dream especially if we fail and need to be consoled by them later.

When it comes right down to it, our fear of failure has more to do with what people are going to think of us than the actual failure itself. If we can keep failure in the proper perspective and view it as the necessary steps to climbing the mountain of success we’ll be able to conquer this fear and stop hiding behind our pile of failures, and begin standing on top of them…we’ll be that much closer to the top.

And then there is the Fear of Success. It may be hard to believe, but the fear of success is just as prevalent as the fear of failure. One of the reasons we may fear success is that we have an incorrect idea of what success really is. If we, or our peers have held successful people in distain, it stands to reason that we would fear the assumptions that other people have about us. Success could be defined simply as accomplishing a goal that we have set for ourselves in any area of our life, but for a broader view, and for the purpose of this discussion, I’ll define success…Continually progressing to improve ourselves in the most important roles of our lives, while joyfully pursuing and achieving the life and mission our Creator has called us to. Knowing, understanding, and communicating this mission, and the necessary achievements to be successful in it can bring us great fear and anxiety.

What will our friends and family think of the “new Successful Us”?

Why do I deserve to be successful anyway?

If I’m successful, what am I going to do next?

We all understand that with Success, comes, Responsibility…are we ready for it?

Can we handle the new expectations and demands on our time?

For most of us, we’re not going to go from a complete unknown to being on all the network TV shows overnight, but I truly believe that it’s our Creator’s desire that we be successful in the mission He has planned for us, let’s not allow our Fears sabotage His plans.

One small step is the beginning to pushing fear out of the way, start small and keep going, you will Change Your Story…When You Change Your Story, You Change Your World.

Blessings,

Randell

There’s Really Only Two Responses To Your Past:

#1.   Allow your past drag you down, or

#2.   Let your past motivate you to press on to a brighter future

Your History Can Either Control You, Or It Can Empower You!

In his book The Travelers Gift, Andy Andrews says…”Do not let your History control your Destiny”

Is your past holding you hostage like your standing in Quicksand? Are you wearing your bad decisions like a pair if hipboots full of mud?

It’s Time To STOP!

You cannot move forward while looking backward with regret, shame, or embarrassment…the past is the past. The past doesn’t even exist. All we can control is now, and where we go from here. It’s time to stop waisting  prescious energy beating ourselves up over past mistakes, failures, and poor judgement, even though the consequences of the past may still be present.

My friend Kent Julian has a formula that he shares in his presentations all across the country. Kents says: E+R=O. The E stands for Events in our lives, the R stands for our Response to those events, and O stands for Outcome. In others words, our Response to the Events in our lives, determines our Outcome. It’s a simple formula, but if applied intentionally in our lives daily, our future will be one that has massive impact, and a positive influence on our world…the coolest part is, that it’s OUR choice!

I’ve been in Quicksand:

If you’ve spent any time at all reading this blog, then you know that I’ve been hung up in the quicksand of past defeats and failures. For far too long I allowed a few bad decisions hold me captive. I would question my own qualifications to help struggling entrepreneurs because of my own mistakes in business, and life. The real fact of the matter is, that those mistakes have actually been an education for me to help other frustrated entrepreneurs get “their lives back” too. The rugged terrain I’ve traveled as an entrepreneur makes me a better guide to those traveling a similar path.

One Last Thing About The Past:

Each of us must take complete responsibility for our past, we must own our past, but we do not need to wear our past like a scarlet letter into our future. Don’t let your past control your destiny. Your destiny is your destiny regardless of your past.

So…Quicksand Or Trampoline?

Back to the original question…Is your past going to suck you down like quicksand, or spring you onward  like a trampoline into a bright and purposeful future. Your Response to the Events in your past determine the future Outcome of your life, and the impact you’ll have on this world.

Being Intentional about your Response is a great step toward being Intentional about your Legacy!

Blessings,

Randell

Have you ever thought of time as currency? In many ways that is exactly what it is, especially if you are paid by how much time you spend working. If you are trading your time for money then in a very real sense time is currency.  The reality is that you are actually purchasing dollars with your time. The problem with this arrangement is that you only have just so much time, obviously when you run out of time your opportunity to purchase more money then vanishes as well.

Following this logic, is wealth measured in time then or measured in dollars… I would suggest neither is an appropriate measurement of wealth. Wealth can be best measured by the value your time creates for you or someone else. For example:   If I am hired to give a speech for $1100, and I invest 10 hours researching and writing my speech, and one hour actually delivering my speech, you could say I just earned $100 per hour. However the wealth does not stop there, assuming the content of my speech added value to those listening, the potential wealth continues on with each person in attendance. To take this one step further, if I take that same speech and put it on a CD and offer it for sale, the potential income for me and the potential added value for anyone who purchased the CD for all practical purposes is infinite.

At the beginning of each year, at the beginning of each month, at the beginning of each week, and at the beginning of each day, we all start with the same amount of time. Each of us has a choice whether to spend our time purchasing dollars, or invest our time creating value for ourselves and others.

By investing our time in Personal Development and People Development we can change our world and be more Intentional about our Legacy.

~Randell Mark Olson

The very first thing the frustrated, discouraged, overwhelmed, burned out, and beat up entrepreneur needs to do before moving forward to a place of freedom is Get Your Head Right!!!

You need to realize that “YOU” are more than your business. “YOU” were “YOU” long before you went into business, and that your business doesn’t define who “YOU” are, or what your true value is.

What many struggling entrepreneurs tend to do is let every difficulty, failure, bad decision, and unmet goal in business reflect who they are as a person, I know because I do it myself. This behavior will not only sabotage your business, it will cut the legs right out from underneath your own self image making everyday tougher than the day before.

When we personalize every business mistake it becomes impossible to learn from those mistakes because we take the blame as who we are rather than what we did to cause the mistake, and this is a huge distinction. When we see a mistake as an incorrect action, we can learn from it, make the necessary changes to avoid making the same mistake again and ultimately have greater opportunity for success.

On The Other Hand

On the other hand, if we see the mistake as a reflection of who we are we blow huge holes in our confidence, and create doubt in our ability to make wise decisions in the future. When we can’t make decisions with confidence we become paralyzed, and difficulties in our business only become worse, which compounds the situation even more, and creates a perpetual cycle of lack of confidence, fear, and paralysis…over and over and over, and eventually we come to a point where we believe we’re failures, and we failed because of who we are.

Not True

Photo from ideavist.com

Failing, and being a failure are not the same thing. We need to understand that we sometimes fail because of something we did, not because of who we are…the “Who We Are” is best displayed by how we react to our failures. We can beat ourselves up and feel worthless and stupid, or we can look at the facts, make corrections and move forward with confidence knowing we’ve got something of real value to offer, just because of who we are.

If You’re At Your Wit’s End In Your Business

The first thing you need to do is look in the mirror a say “I Am Valuable, I am here for a reason, and my Creator didn’t make any junk” Realize that you have skills and abilities, a personality suited for success, and passions, values, and dreams that are part of your mission.

Go For It With Confidence!!!

“Randell Mark” Olson

A couple of weeks ago Ivan Bickett asked if I would offer my “One Thing” suggestion for his website.  Ivan asked if there was only  ”One Thing” I could tell someone just starting out in their own new business, what would that “One Thing” be.  This was my response:

FEED THE FARMER B4 THE ANIMALS

If I could only share “one Thing” with someone just going into business, it would be this…”Feed The Farmer B4 The Animals”. Using the metaphor of you as the farmer, and the animals as your business, you need to be “well” in order to grow a healthy business.

Our Family During The Early Business Years

This has not always been my philosophy, but I wish it would have been.  In 1997 I walked away from a job with great pay, great benefits, and tons of flexibility to pursue the dream of self employment.  My wife and I had four kids, our oldest was 13 at the time, and the youngest was 4, yes we were just entering the most expensive years of raising a family…what was I thinking?

The way I had it figured was, if we don’t feed the business first, then it will not be able to provide for us, which makes perfect sense, and carries an element of truth, but is fundamentally way off. If you travel this path long enough you will probably end up frustrated at home, and blaming your business for it…after all it gets everything first.  I made the same mistake that many business owners make, of always paying themselves last.

The business bills always came first, the electric bill, gas bill, advertising bills, job material bills, while bills at home went unpaid, or paid at the last possible minute, including our mortgage.

After battling this for years, I finally realized that I needed to pay myself first.  Just as the farmer cannot properly care for his animals if he is not strong and healthy, we as business owners cannot give our business the attention it needs if our own core needs are not being met. For instance, how can we possibly have the energy to focus on our business if we are worried that our electricity will be turned off at home, if we can’t afford groceries for our family, or if we’re avoiding phone calls from bill collectors.  These distractions steal our energy, rob us of our creativity, cause pain in our relationships, and shoot huge holes in our confidence.

Our Family All These Years Later

To build a strong and healthy business, we as business owners need to be giving our best self…we need to be “whole”.  Here is a quick example of how to prioritize the finances of your new business:

1. Pay your Taxes First…do not pay anything until you pay your taxes. Despite what you may have read, the IRS is not that friendly.  If you don’t pay your taxes, they will visit you, usually without an appointment, and at the worst possible moment.
2. Take care of your Family’s Core Needs.  Pay yourself enough to cover Food, Shelter, Utilities, and Clothing. Once these basic needs are met, it is a lot easier to focus on growing your business.
3. Pay business bills.
4. At this point it comes down to Values. Invest in family fun, and business growth as you see fit.

If you will practice these principles you can avoid much of the stress and pain of starting and growing a business that will leave a Legacy for years to come.

“Randell Mark” Olson,  The Intentional Legacy Group, LLC

Have you ever had the opportunity to watch yourself, when you didn’t know you were looking? That’s sounds kind of creepy I know…let me try to explain what I mean.

Last weekend, my wife Karen and I were at a graduation open house, where someone was walking around with a video camera catching some live footage of this special day. The interesting thing is, that I was completely unaware of this video camera until I was shown a copy of it later.

As I watched myself on video, I found it strange to know that at the time I had no idea that I was being watched. It was a rare opportunity to see myself as the world sees me.

The first thing I noticed was that I am shorter and wider than I thought…my hair is grayer than I thought as well. But what really got my attention was how my approach and response to various people was so vastly different.

Some people I would approach rather aggressively with a big hug, a slap on the back, and lots of laughter, while others I would address slowly with a gentle embrace, and a tender word, or a handshake with a smile.

Why The Difference?

I felt like a private investigator as I watched myself interact with family, friends, and acquaintances. I couldn’t help but notice that I seemed to know how to approach each person in a way that would be most acceptable to them.

Could There Be A Business Lesson Here?

I think so. The reason I was able to give the proper greeting and response to so many people at this open house, was because I understood how most of them want to interact…you might say “I know how they’re wired”, and their response can be quite predictable.

In business our customers and clients are all wired differently as well, and if we take the time to understand them better the results can be staggering. Just think how much better you can serve your customer  if you have a clearer sense of their unique perspective and what they would see as the perfect outcome.

We’ve all heard it said that “People do Business with people they Know, Like, and Trust” and there is no better way to earn that than to show them that you care, by getting to know them better.  It’s all part of being more Intentional about our Legacy.

I’ve Blown it more than once, and I have a hunch, you have too.

It seems to me that it was easier to get over failure when I was a kid, than it is now…and I wonder why?  Even more important than the question “WHY?” is, can we recapture the attitude we had towards failure when we were kids, and if so…HOW?

Let’s go back and look at the lyrics of the 1999 Kenny Rogers hit…”The Greatest”

How can we have the same perspective as this Great young man.  I realize that we have to be realistic about our capabilities, but I think all to often we sell ourselves short, and give up to quickly.

Next time you fail at something, try to “turn those lemons into lemonade”.  Assess what you did right, and take careful notes on what went wrong as well.  Consider how much better off you’ll be next time with this new knowledge, and remember that failure is a necessary part of success.

If we’re intentional about learning from our mistakes, our future successes will be just that much sweeter, and our attitude towards them both help determine our Legacy.

Being Intentional about our Legacy…Changes our world!!!

“Randell Mark” Olson